The truth is we all say the wrong thing sometimes, leaving our kids feeling hurt, angry, or confused. Below are 9 things you should never say to kids for whatever reasons.
“Thinking about sex is bad at your age”
Parents always worry about facing tough question of where babies come from. Don’t zip this question by saying “I’ll tell you when you’re ready.” Instead, you should try “Curiosity about sex is normal and I will answer any questions that you have.” This is important for you to speak honestly and age-appropriately with your children.
“It’s your fault”
Don’t play the blame game, especially with children.
“Why can’t you be more like ___?”
Everyone is different and individual so parent don’t ever compare one child to another regarding their ability, talent or skills. That will batters their confidence and make them more self conscious. Parent should identify their strengths and introduce them to activities that they are interested in.
“Your dad/mother is wrong”
These words will undermines the trust and respect of a child to other parent and will most probably just cause a serious distance between you and your partner. Instead, you should try “Let me talk to dad about that and we will decide what the best answer is and come back and tell you.”
You may be in a bad mood, but that doesn’t mean you can say anything that come out of your mind to children. These horrible words should never be used towards children so it’s best to bite your lip.
“Wait until ___ gets home”
This is probably the most clichéd parenting saying around, but you should avoid it. You need to take action immediately yourself. By the time the other parent gets home, your child will actually have forgotten what she did wrong. Passing the responsibility to someone else also undermines your authority. “Why should I listen to mom if she’s not going to do anything anyway?”
“I’m proud of you”
Don’t let kids feel responsible for parental pride. Instead you should try “We trust in you. You did really well”
It’s natural to want to protect your kids from being sad, but saying “Don’t be a baby.” or “There’s no reason to be afraid.” doesn’t make them feel better. That will send a message that their emotions are invalid. Rather than deny you kids’ feeling, you should name it by giving them the words to express themselves. That will let them cry less and describe their emotions instead.
“I’ll do it for you”
It’s easy to get angry and frustrated when your kids can’t finish a task or has trouble completing homework. You could decide to do it for them but there is a more collaborative approach by saying “Let’s do it together!”